I’m 16, going on 35, finding myself again. Such a glorious life, to be young and free cos’ life has just begun.
At the ripe, young age of 35, you are bound to feel the age pangs catch up on you. The noticeable greys that shine in contrast to the jet black strands, photos on social media of your classmates married, with children, not to mention the detectives around you trying to probe why you’re not joining the rest in holy matrimony. All these daily reminders, are enough to sink you further in doubt, loneliness and waving the white flag in surrender to social demands.
Hang on. Before we give up so soon, let’s do some quick thinking. Mel Robbins, one of the many self-help motivators I admire and follow says that every-time you find yourself in a fix, count to 5.
So let’s countdown the five important lessons experience has brought.
5…Alive and Kicking
Today at 35 I feel more alive than I did at 16. Despite the ‘I don’t have much time’ fears cropping up, you begin to realise that age is just a number. It’s never too late if you hit start if you are not constantly bogged down by it.
4…Age is like an old wine…
…that only ripens with passing time. Maturity comes with growth if you’re willing to learn. The more open you are to listen; the universe sends you ample opportunities to grow. Soon you’ll realise that a lot of thoughts, people you held so dearly before may be what or who you think. Friends you had, walk away, the job you’ve been doing doesn’t interest you anymore because with change comes the realisation of self-worth.
3…I am important
Self-worth is the life-line on which we don’t hang on to. Hence we make compromises. I’ve cut on my health, relationships, took on more than I could chew and in the end stressed myself over things when I knew I shouldn’t have. In my need to be a people pleaser I landed up hurting myself. When you focus on what you need and what’s important, your life drastically shifts. It doesn’t make you egotistical but you’re able to understand others better.
4…It’s okay to fail
When you’re a perfectionist and what to get things right (all the time) a little setback can be huge. Not to mention dealing with the anxiety and stress of the fear of the thought of failing, you live an unrealistic life. If you know you have given your best and you know what your limitations are, it’s okay to accept failure and move on healthier and stronger.
You learn what you can do and not, you look at yourself more kindly and you find your roots through the process. For years I pushed myself to go beyond my limitations, without understanding boundaries. I got sick, stressed and I lost myself to others.
5…You are your Best Friend
In times of trouble, you’ll realise that you’re the only one standing. All those you think will reach out to you aren’t there. After experiencing many such times, I’ve only understood myself more and now I’m not so lonely. Others look for partners to complete them, but the idea is to complete yourself first. Because only when you feel whole as a person you can experience joy and contentment. The life that you seek, you work on, you become stronger, happier and healthier.
All my health concerns have almost vanished or become more tolerable. I am motivated to work on my goals and get to where I’m going.
Yes, the loneliness does creep in. Now, I just count to 5. When you realise how much you’ve changed in all that time, I’m glad I have at 35. I still feel young, goofy, and make silly faces. But that’s all part of the journey. So I was reminded to sing the old Sound of Music song, with a little change. I’m 16, going on 35.